Therapy/Counseling VS Coaching: Is coaching the right choice for me?

So you’re probably here because you’re looking for help. Great! You’re in the right place. And congratulations on taking that first step into researching how you can better your life in whatever capacity you’re seeking. Looking for guidance means that you have set aside your ego or the “I need to handle everything by myself” mentality, and understand that A) real, sustainable change and progress starts with YOU, and B) there is no shame in asking for help from an objective and knowledgeable party - we do this in most other aspects of our lives, right? From looking up recipes for what we want to make for dinner or career advice from an admired mentor, we seek guidance from professionals everyday.  But WHICH professional is the right one for you? In this article, we will outline the differences between traditional therapy or mental health counseling and lifecoaching to help you decide which one makes the most sense for the reasons you’ve found yourself on this site. 

I personally hold four degrees from NYU an MHCCP-NY counseling license and have worked in therapeutic environments from teaching at a specialized school for children on the spectrum to over two years providing direct counseling to adults via telehealth and am now  the Director of Coaching as well as the practicing Authenticity and Self-Actualization Expert here at LCC. I feel as though my licensure and experience have given me unique insight into the Venn diagram of where counseling and coaching both differ and intersect.  In the simplest of terms, coaching and counseling can be differentiated by temporal focus (past vs future) and where they intersect is the present, which may be why they are so easily conflated. Therapy and counseling customarily focus on the past. In this practice we mine the deep wells of childhood, early life/adulthood, significant memories and relationships, examining and working through any past trauma that may be negatively affecting us in the present. The process is long and arduous, but the fruits are well-worth the labor. Therapy and counseling are all about examining the “why” - what events have shaped us into who we are currently. An additional layer of this is who we are genetically, chemically, and neurologically. What portion of our current struggles are merely a matter of DNA or predisposition, from ADHD to autism to anxiety or depression or even substance abuse issues. Even therapists or mental health counselors do not have the power the prescribe medication, (only a psychiatrist or nurse practitioner has this ability), but a therapist or counselor can diagnose a condition and work closely with your doctor to monitor how the addition of any psychotropic medications, along with the deep internal work that you do, impact your mental, emotional and physical well-being. 

While therapy and counseling focus most heavily on the “past” and the “why”, lifecoaching work centers on the “future” and the “how”. For example, you understand there are patterns of behavior in your life that do not serve you, or are currently in a tricky situation. You understand how you got here, but how do you get out - how do you change the pattern, how do you try to prevent this from happening again, or how do you cope with the effects of things both in and out of your control? A key element of lifecoaching is learning who you are and what you want in the present, and merging this with who you want to be and how to achieve the goals you have for the future. While therapy or counseling can help you overcome or deal with a diagnosis or crisis, lifecoaching helps you go from surviving to truly thriving and living an intentional life that is largely peaceful and full of joy. Personally, my style of coaching is much like adding rungs to a ladder - some rungs we craft together during our appointment, and others via directed science-based and individually tailored homework assignments to strengthen the work and elevate the strides we make in session.

The intersection of therapy/cousneling and lifecoaching is in the present - what’s going on right now? And even though the locus of focus is different, this does not mean that you never talk about the future in therapy or counseling, or that you never talk about the past with your lifecoach. The difference lies in the focus of approach - therapy asks why is this happening, and lifecoaching asks how can I learn from this to do better next time. Both practices may involve individual or group sessions and the relationship with your therapist, counselor or lifecoach can make or break your experience. 

A healthy relationship with a practitioner is one built on three tenets: non-judgement, honesty, and trust. There is no place for shame or judgment in either therapy/counseling nor lifecoaching, and if you’re not 100% honest with your practitioner, it’s just simply not gonna work. Do you feel like you can be open with this person about anything? Can you trust them not to impart their personal feelings on the advice they give, taking a truly objective stance on the issues in your life, devoid of any biases your friends/family may have? Do you like them? I like to use the age-old metaphor of “seeing the forest through the trees” with my clients. Wouldn’t it be a lot easier to see the topography of the forest if you had a buddy in a helicopter, radioing down to you which path looks the clearest? That is the value of a truly objective therapeutic or coaching relationship, and also why we offer free 20 minute consultations at LCC so that you can be a little bit more sure you have the right person in the helicopter before you start making moves. 

So you’ve read this far, maybe you’re thinking “Nope, I definitely need counseling.” Or maybe you’re thinking, “lifecoaching sounds exactly like what I need to solve this problem”. If it’s the latter, head over to our Find a Coach Page. We’re all waiting (with our radios switched on!), to see if we’re a good fit to help guide you through the forest of life.